Every film in the SixStarsWanted Fan Vault, ranked: eleven shorts, three and a half minutes, and one Tommy Vercetti for governor

We do not usually do this. On this site the house voice answers the question in the first sentence, labels what is confirmed and what is our guess, and leaves opinions to the people whose job they are. Tonight the opinion people are busy with swamps, gym memberships and Rolo's hoodies, so this one is ours.

First, the part that matters most: every film below is fan-made. None of it is footage from Grand Theft Auto VI, and none of it comes from Rockstar. Rockstar's trailers and clips are on the Media page, kept separate on purpose.

With that said: eleven films, watched back to back, about three and a half minutes in all. Here is our ranking.

1. Three Kings of GTA

Thirty-seven seconds, the longest in the vault. Tommy Vercetti in a pinstripe suit and a string of pearls, Carl Johnson stepping out of a black sedan on a palm-lined Los Santos street, Niko Bellic on a Liberty City train with the same tired eyes he had in 2008. Our pick for first, because it is the only film about the series rather than a moment in it: three protagonists from three eras, rebuilt in one look. It pairs well with the road to GTA 6.

2. Tommy's New Empire

Twenty-three seconds of a fake election-night broadcast from an alternate Florida. The ticker reads Vercetti 58 percent, then Breaking News: Vercetti wins governor race, and Tommy takes the podium under a Vercetti For Governor banner. It plays the photo opportunity completely straight, which is why it is funny. The best joke in the vault.

3. Lucia Caminos at a VIP Resort

The newest film, released on Halloween night. Fifteen seconds at a resort pool: Lucia in gold aviators, laughing at something off camera, then finishing a red cocktail in one unbothered pull. It is the off-duty Lucia that one of Rockstar's own pool screenshots hinted at, and it gave Ruby an eleventh Halloween costume.

4. Dead Gator Bar & Grill: After Dark

Twelve seconds outside a biker bar at night: string lights under the porch, neon beer signs, a wet parking lot throwing pink and green back at the sky, and a row of choppers in the puddles. Shot vertical, built for a phone. The strongest sense of place in the vault.

5. Vice City After Dark

A street party under the glass towers, a woman dancing on the hood of a coupe while the crowd holds up phones. Twenty-one seconds that look exactly like something posted at 2 a.m., which is the point.

6. Love Fist Lives Again

A tribute to Love Fist, the glam-metal band Tommy spent half of the 2002 Vice City looking after, rebuilt in the GTA 6 look under a blood-red logo with a skull for the O. No plot, all attitude. We wrote it up in October.

7. Lucia Caminos: The Queen

A motion poster rather than a scene: Lucia's face under a Six Stars Wanted badge, a neon sunset behind her. It was the first thing made for this site, and our logo came from it, so we ranked it on merit and not on sentiment. Seventh is merit.

8. GTA 6 Fishing Trip

Twelve seconds of calm: a man casting from the back of a speedboat, gulls overhead, the skyline behind. No crime, no chase. The quietest film in the vault.

9. Beach Trip

A yellow lifeguard tower, sunbathers face-down on towels, a heavyset man in blue trunks and an older man in green shorts walking through the middle of it all. Thirteen seconds of beach life, told from eye level.

10. Most Wanted MC Member

A biker in extreme close-up, shouting straight down the lens for nineteen seconds. Not subtle, and not meant to be. Motorcycle clubs are a confirmed part of GTA 6's world, in Ambrosia; this film is one fan's guess at their muscle.

11. The Street Kings GTA6

Ten seconds, the shortest and the loudest. Last place is not a criticism. It is the film that does exactly one thing, and it does it in ten seconds.

How we ranked them

Our guess, honestly labelled: we ranked by how well each film would hold up for someone who has never heard of this site. Ideas beat attitude, a sense of place beats a pose, and a good joke beats almost everything. Your order will differ, and the vault is short enough to check for yourself: all eleven play on the Media page, and the fan films page has the story behind each one.

Made something?

The vault takes submissions. The Fan Vault page has the details. Keep it fan-made, label it as fan-made, and leave the official screenshots to Rockstar.

Normal service resumes tomorrow with the countdown. Twelve days.

Watch all eleven on the Media page